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The Pareto Feelings

Getting-Things-Done freaks know what Pareto is.
Puting 80% of efforts into 20% of most important task is handy to manage day-to-day activities effectively, or even for conducting a small project.

But, can we Pareto-ed our feelings?

On Thursday, last weekend, my mom called me. She had things to do at Surabaya on Sunday-Monday. Instantly, I offered her my hand.

My schedule changed a bit. But it’s okay.

On Saturday, I had small discussion with my friend. He said that my latest update (it’s a programming thingy) was a bit out of track. It wasn’t no big deal; I could fix them in one day. The problem was, it was supposed to be online on Monday and working on Sunday was out of the question for me.

First conflict happened.

My wife called me just when I was about to go to pick up my mom. Luna got her arm and leg bruised. It’s easy to fix, nothing to worry about. But knowing that I couldn’t make it home at that moment was breaking my heart.

That was the second.

To make things worse, here came the third.

I had a bit misunderstanding with a friend of mine. It was due to my stupidity and stubbornness. I hope I could talk to this friend so there wouldn’t be any trouble again.

I wish I could but I can’t.

And now, at this very moment, 6 unreplied emails are shouting at me: “How cruel you are, Andry! We’re not just emails, we are your friends!”

You got the idea.

My belief teaches me that every man’s life belongs to his mother and every woman’s to her husband. Following these rules, we won’t need “Men are From Mars Women are From Venus” or “Don’t Sweat Small Thing in Love” anymore.

I picked up my mom, of course.

When I was 16 I ran off from home for about two months. My friends provided me with shelters. My friends are my families. I hope I do the same.

Here’s my question:
Can we Pareto-ed our feelings? Can I put my mom under “urgent important”, my jobs under “urgent not important”, my friends under “not urgent important”, and my Luna under “urgent important” also?

Surely, we can’t please everyone. But I hope there will be win-win solution (and I don’t know how, darn it!)

I’m telling you. It is so hard to be a programmer nowadays.

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Silverlines said :

Surely we cannot please everyone, let alone to include ourselves. But hey, you’ve made a right step, I guess. Your Luna is in good hand – your wife, isn’t she ? – while you’re picking up your Mom you can still keep an “eye” on her through the telephone.
Happened to me too.
I had my daughter fell down and not able to walk properly last weekend. I was alone,yes. But having someone comforting me and giving clear instruction to heal the wound, enough to make me think, someone’s with me. Trust me. Well of course it will be better if he’s there, but, life’s not always that simple.
And the 6 emails. Priority is priority, am sure your friends will understand your lack of time to reply.

And no, you cannot Pareto-ed our feelings.

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bn said :

Hoho.. sometimes we just can’t be too busy with our bussines, we have to socialize too, it’s basic thing in life, i think. Work and social life should be balanced, though sometime we can break the rule, but that’s not the main reason to forget life, right?

eh, gue ngomong apaan sih? mungkin gak nyambung..hehehe.. :P

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Pipit said :

Sometimes life requires us to be in several places at the same time. It’s impossible, but always put in your mind, being there does not always mean being there physically.

When it comes to friends, they should understand when you can’t answer them pronto. Just explain it to them and it’ll be alright. :)

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naga said :

mm…your mom was the most important at that time, since your wife could take care of Luna.
The job is the second one important, because in this case,you got a date line. Why in this case job is more important than your fam? it’s an income-also for u and your fam. If you can’t see your fam this time, I think they’d understand. And friends can wait for a while. Next time, you know that in order to see your fam, first finish your job.

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'ka said :

c’est la vie, my friend. in life, we encountered so many thing we gotta choose from. of course, there’s no way we can satisfy the whole world. so just do what you think is the most important 1st, then move on to the next.

people say something about you? well, isn’t that what they can ONLY do? like they’re gonna give a hand. just ignore ‘em

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anonymuis said :

I ran away from my house when I was about 16 too haha! And for me, mom is the most important :) but still, I won’t make group about who is more and less important, all are the same for me, important.

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goz said :

I’m telling you. It is so hard to be a programmer nowadays

luckily i’m not a programmer, i’m a copy-paste programmer :D

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andry said :

I dont know, maybe Im not pushing my self hard enough. But I need space to breathe.
6 emails, 3 prospect emails, 1 business email, and 2 from friends. All of them is my friends.

Tidak ada yang namanya waktu luang, yang ada hanya meluangkan waktu.
Busy with ourself I think isn’t an excuse.
(damn, I forget to call my mom)

You know what I need ? USS Enterprise beaming beacon. Beam me up, Scotty!

Hehe.. Im not pushing hard enough. That’s all. I guess :)

Maybe, learn to say “No” more and more.. I guess.

16. Heavy metal. Youth Gone Wild. A liitle coup d’etat is good for the soul.. hehe..

Copy paste programmer tends to replicate the problems :p

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'ka said :


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kere kemplu said :

can we pareto-ed our feelings? i like ur question. sometimes yes, tapi kt malu mengakui :)

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Silverlines said :

You should not push yourself too hard though .. especially when your body has screamed for help of being mis-use of overworking

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Feb 23, 06:38 AM